At this moment, I have an attitude of thankfulness.
I'm thankful to my Savior for rescuing me from a life of sin and shame. (REALLY thankful, because I experienced it first hand, and I saw where it lead: to destruction.)
I'm thankful to my friend and first love, Jesus, for desiring an intimate relationship with me, and drawing me to himself.
I'm thankful to my Father, God, for making all things possible, and for paving my path and directing me along it.
I'm thankful to my Creator for giving me good gifts and many blessings, more than I can count.
I'm thankful to my parents for raising me to be a woman after God's own heart. I'm thankful for their advice, wisdom, and love.
I'm thankful for my sister and brother for their loyalty.
I'm thankful to my friends for their loyalty, and friendship, and care, and fun times.
I'm thankful to Jordan, my close friend, for all that has come, and all that lies ahead. May God direct our relationship. May God give us wisdom for every step. May God show his power and his might and his plan in this process. May God bless the future, and the present. May we continue to follow his perfect plan.
I'm so thankful, and joyful, and peaceful! God knows what He's doing! :)
He is Enough
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Hey God, It's Always Better When We're Together
so yeah. It's truly always better when I'm with God. When I am working on comforming to His purpose for my life. My joy and peace are truly back. I don't have the freedom to go out and do what my flesh wants, but those things rob me of life and innocence. right now, i need sleep. i need restoration because im exhausted. like so exhausted! i need to start working on making my body have more energy each day, like exersizing! and i need to work on self control in other areas, lol.
God loves me. :)
God has a purpose for my life, and for the lives of each girl in my social club and the other social clubs. :)
I have to trust him that He knows who I'll end up with, and that they are someone God is proud of, or will be proud of when we end up together. But until then, and even afterward, I need to be seeking Him completely. Trent probably isn't the person. I have to stop looking!
God, hold me. tight. reassure me that you're never letting me go.
God loves me. :)
God has a purpose for my life, and for the lives of each girl in my social club and the other social clubs. :)
I have to trust him that He knows who I'll end up with, and that they are someone God is proud of, or will be proud of when we end up together. But until then, and even afterward, I need to be seeking Him completely. Trent probably isn't the person. I have to stop looking!
God, hold me. tight. reassure me that you're never letting me go.
Monday, January 24, 2011
MY JOY IS BACK!
Ever since I told God I'm His and I'm listening and He is my direction, I've been walking toward Him and my JOY is back! It's amazing to see the glow and the peace that I now have on my face!
Today was weird, but honestly, what I need is self-discipline. I need a sense of purpose. So this blog post isn't going to be long because I have lots to do, but NO MORE coming in the room and chilling before I finish what I have to do!!!
COME ON JOY! You can do it! I was counting God's blessings earlier and it made me feel SO MUCH BETTER!
Thank you Jesus!
<3 I love you.
Today was weird, but honestly, what I need is self-discipline. I need a sense of purpose. So this blog post isn't going to be long because I have lots to do, but NO MORE coming in the room and chilling before I finish what I have to do!!!
COME ON JOY! You can do it! I was counting God's blessings earlier and it made me feel SO MUCH BETTER!
Thank you Jesus!
<3 I love you.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Where do I go from here?
Ok God
you know my thoughts.
I don't really know what I'm doing.
My parents want to move, with your blessing.
So where does that leave me? I need to think about the future but without giving up the present. And the present - quiet time with you. What are you waiting for me to discover about yourself?
It's almost noon; I kinda wasted the morning. I need to spend time with you and then concentrate on helping mom.
God, I don't know where you're leading me, both now and in the future. I kind of see myself applying to teach both in Northwest Arkansas and Tennessee. But I'm not really sure. I guess it's totally up to you. So how do you want me to develop my relationship with you while I'm here with my family? And what discipline habits are the most necessary? I need to figure out how to take care of myself before I move on in life. Self denial. I guess that's what I'm hearing from You. Ok God.
I'll do my best.
I love you.
I'm listening.
you know my thoughts.
I don't really know what I'm doing.
My parents want to move, with your blessing.
So where does that leave me? I need to think about the future but without giving up the present. And the present - quiet time with you. What are you waiting for me to discover about yourself?
It's almost noon; I kinda wasted the morning. I need to spend time with you and then concentrate on helping mom.
God, I don't know where you're leading me, both now and in the future. I kind of see myself applying to teach both in Northwest Arkansas and Tennessee. But I'm not really sure. I guess it's totally up to you. So how do you want me to develop my relationship with you while I'm here with my family? And what discipline habits are the most necessary? I need to figure out how to take care of myself before I move on in life. Self denial. I guess that's what I'm hearing from You. Ok God.
I'll do my best.
I love you.
I'm listening.
Monday, December 27, 2010
YOU are my direction.
I give it all cuz I'm drawn to you.
As long as my heart is beating.
Where you lead me I will follow.
Forever and a day.
I can't deny Your very presence is my life
And why would I ever turn away.
Cause deep inside I know that I cannot rely
On anything less than faith.
This is all I'm dreaming of
To live completely in your love.
As long as my heart is beating.
Where you lead me I will follow.
Forever and a day.
I can't deny Your very presence is my life
And why would I ever turn away.
Cause deep inside I know that I cannot rely
On anything less than faith.
This is all I'm dreaming of
To live completely in your love.
Lost
Joy: "God, Satan's winning. The forces inside me are fighting at different strengths at different times, and it's never gonna end, but I don't have enough determination. I'm far from you. And I just, I'm spent."
God: "Oh my darling, don't you remember? If I am for you, who can be against you?"
Joy: "But God, my flesh is weak, and my spirit is less willing than it used to be."
God: "My grace is sufficient for you; my power is made perfect in your weakness."
Joy: "God, I have no self-control. I'm not walking in the Spirit, and I don't know how to start up again."
God: "My dear, you were faithful in the small things yesterday. You do just enough. She who is faithful in the little is faithful also in much."
Joy: "But God, I'm also unfaithful in the little, and I will be unfaithful in the much."
(Long pause.)
This is where I am. There are so many truths in the word that point to living for Jesus. But my motivation, my desire, my determination, all of it has all but disappeared. The only thing keeping me alive is knowing I can't give up. I'm truly hanging on by a thread. If I gave up, I would no longer have a goal: to teach children to love Jesus. I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know how to talk to God anymore. I don't know how to approach him. I don't have self-control in any area: get-ready, money, school work; if I don't want to do something, chances are I won't. And I don't know how to change.
God, I'm crying out to you. Hold me, bring me peace, give me a revelation.I have no idea what to do or where to go or how to come back to you. You have to do the work because I'm lost. Completely. And I'm not sure if I want my parents to know. And I have no idea how to get back into your arms. Daughter, you never left them. I've always held you. ok God, hold me. Direct my paths. I can't trust in my own understanding because I have no idea what to do or where to go. If I asked you to help me lay down my pride, well, ok, because I have no reason to have any anymore. Help me be willing to lay it down. Just hold me.
God: "Oh my darling, don't you remember? If I am for you, who can be against you?"
Joy: "But God, my flesh is weak, and my spirit is less willing than it used to be."
God: "My grace is sufficient for you; my power is made perfect in your weakness."
Joy: "God, I have no self-control. I'm not walking in the Spirit, and I don't know how to start up again."
God: "My dear, you were faithful in the small things yesterday. You do just enough. She who is faithful in the little is faithful also in much."
Joy: "But God, I'm also unfaithful in the little, and I will be unfaithful in the much."
(Long pause.)
This is where I am. There are so many truths in the word that point to living for Jesus. But my motivation, my desire, my determination, all of it has all but disappeared. The only thing keeping me alive is knowing I can't give up. I'm truly hanging on by a thread. If I gave up, I would no longer have a goal: to teach children to love Jesus. I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know how to talk to God anymore. I don't know how to approach him. I don't have self-control in any area: get-ready, money, school work; if I don't want to do something, chances are I won't. And I don't know how to change.
God, I'm crying out to you. Hold me, bring me peace, give me a revelation.I have no idea what to do or where to go or how to come back to you. You have to do the work because I'm lost. Completely. And I'm not sure if I want my parents to know. And I have no idea how to get back into your arms. Daughter, you never left them. I've always held you. ok God, hold me. Direct my paths. I can't trust in my own understanding because I have no idea what to do or where to go. If I asked you to help me lay down my pride, well, ok, because I have no reason to have any anymore. Help me be willing to lay it down. Just hold me.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Alive, Well, and Home!
I'm home. No, correction: I'm HOME. REALLY. HOME. :) So happy to be here with my family! I love this place; I love this city. I love my family, I love my new computer. I love sleep, which is where I'm headed. I'm looking forward to being here with them for a while. But to survive, I need patience, humility, and a servant's heart. Then I'll be good to go as far as making sure I promote unity among my family. So with that in mind, I'll write more later, but I'm pooped. Goodnight, people who are just now starting Christmas day :).
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