have i lost my mind??!!

I talked on the phone with my ex today. for an hour and a half! he had texted me and i just read it today, asking if i was ok because he had heard about hte floods near me and wanted to make sure nothing had happened. i haven t talk to him since february when i said we cant talk anymore because i cant handle a friendship with you without my feelings getting in the way. so thats how we left things. he deleted me as friends on facebook. there were so many times i wanted to tell him something, ask his advice, or just hear his voice on my birthday, and i couldnt. and now, well, i journalled, cuz i didnt know what to do. i knew i wanted his friendship back. but can i handle it? i had texted him back multiple messages so he knew it was ok, and he asked are you sure you want to call? and i said yes, so we talked, and then hung up, and then talked again, just about what God has been doing in our lives, interesting stories, and more. and now, i dont know what to do? will i be able to handle a friendship with no romance?? the no talking period was for me. now i want to show him love, doing what he needs. what does he need? a friendship? space? friendship on his terms? cuz i dont know if that's healthy; i would just be letting him renew selfish habits. but i want to be who he needs. and he values me. and i value him. i wish i knew the future!!! i wish i could see, oh yes, we'll get back together, it's perfectly fine to start a relationship. or, no dear, he's just gonna break your heart again without meaning to so stay away. i know he'll probably talk to me less often than once a week or once every 2 weeks. and im still high maintenance and i would want more or i would be missing him. thats the problem right there - i would MISS him, and i would interpret our conversations as something more than what they really are: merely proof that we have a close friendship. i was his best friend at one point. but i think thats all i was to him. but he was my beloved! and i know i'll make up excuses to think of him that way again! i don't want to, but i'm pretty sure i will! so now i don't know what to do... what's the best way to go, God? it's in your hands, i need your wisdom on this one...