I Love Him, but it's not in the right way (think les mis)

so here's an update on my life:
I spoke to my church wednesday night about what it was like growing up as a missionary kid. and I had to ignore all of the "oh my gosh what do I do about my ex?" thoughts running around inside my head. I had to completely surrender everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, to God, and he really took control of what I said. I talked about - well - growing up on the mission field! I talked about things I learned about God and what my response should be: trust and surrender. And God really used me to encourage the church :).
But yeah, trust and surrender are the two things I'm expecially working on right now. Myself wants to just take back Thomas into my life and keep communication until he comes to his senses and falls in love with me again or until I snap and demand that he fall in love. But I have to trust that if Thomas is in my future, God and him will make it happen. I had a daydream last night as I was falling asleep that Thomas realized he was in love with me and wanted to marry me but he talked to some adults and they told him to wait because what was going to do - ask me to wait for him? That wasn't trusting God with his future. He knew I was in love with Him, but that I was getting over him, all he had to do was wait for God's timing. Now I know that Thomas doesn't feel this way about me. All I know is that he values me as a friend and I inspire him to be more like Christ. And if I loved him for the right reasons, that should be MORE THAN ENOUGH. But I selfishly want him in love with me because I'm not over my infatuation with him. I have to let God do his work and say Thomas, I can't handle a friendship with you still. Even though I've done a lot of maturing, I've realized that for me to continue moving on from us, I'm still not in a place where we can just be friends and my emotions won't get in the way. There's no telling how long it will take. But I do want you in my life, and I want to be in yours. Just not yet. -I don't know, I'll say something like that.
So anyways, I'm now in Louisiana with my ever annoying but wonderful brother. I leave Tuesday and I have to go back to my lovely job. To God be the Glory!