Stuck

I feel stuck. I haven't discussed this with many people, but I only have part of the summer left here (where I feel like if I moved here God could totally use me among the Hispanic crowd), and then I go back to my college town. God is moving in radical ways at my college, but I don't want to join just to be part of the crowd. There are huge movements of change, but there are also fakers, people who are following the movement of change because it's cool or the right thing to do but they don't know what it means to take up your cross daily. Maybe I'm judging too much. I want to do something different, something no one else is comfortable with. But I can't do it alone. And I can't do it without God's leading. So just pray for me as I try to seek the Lord about how He wants me to serve in this next coming year at my college. And here in Little Rock, all I can do is wake up every day, completely re-surrender to God, and follow His leading at my work and during the rest of the day. He knows that when I see a need that I can meet, I'll meet it.
I was downtown on Saturday walking to meet some friend when I passed this guy, who was drunk. He asked for a light; I don't smoke. Then he asked for a dollar so he could buy chicken wings from this Mexican place. There is no Mexican place down there, but I figured out that he meant the place where all Mexicans work. So I bought him some chicken tenders and told him to stop drinking. And then after I left, I realized I hadn't shared the Gospel, because I had been in a hurry. But I went to meet my friends, who later brought him up in conversation because he had told them something funny. I mentioned I bought him dinner and they all looked at me like I was crazy. Why the heck did u buy him dinner? "I would have just walked off and left him." (in my mind I was like, that's what you did!)
I just feel like even tho I want to live for God and I'm giving myself over to Him, I start to rely on my own strengths and I don't live up to the potential I have. I fasted last week, and it was a success, but it could have been better, there some time I could have spent more wisely. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. But I say I'm sold out for God and then it's like I rely on my own strength while trying to tell myself I'm relying on God and trying to pray God help me. So that brings me to the "stuck" feeling.


Where do I go from here?