Spiritual Gifts

I just took a Spiritual Gift Inventory under the guidance of my pastor, and I came out high with Evangelism, Mercy, and Pastoring/Shepherding, with Exhortation, Prophecy, and Administration also high on the list. How ever, there were only 9 gifts on this particular inventory. I've been thinking about developing my own personal list of Spiritual Gifts, what I believe are on the list. First we need to define spiritual gifts. Most people agree on the definition, which confuses me that there can be one definition but different lists of what falls under that list. I lean toward more conservative views because of how I was raised, but I still agree with what I got as spiritual gifts. However, I would also include Discernment, Apostle, and Knowledge, which I could not choose from on the first inventory. When I was younger, I would not have said Discernment or Apostle, or in fact any of these, but I've learned that I really do have them. Using them is a different matter. I am really bad at using the gift of Evangelism. The importance I place on how much people like me can hinder that gift, as well as the gift of Prophecy. those involve being radical Christians, using the gifts to the best of our ability, ignoring the world's view of us. The Bible says the world will hate us because it hated Jesus, and a servant is not better than his master. I guess my point is that I'm discovering what my spiritual gifts are and how to use them. With my gifts of mercy, evangelism, and apostleship, I feel called to be a missionary; I've felt that since I was very young. I also believe I'm more willing to have this calling because of my background. But there is no doubt in my mind that that is my calling, especially because of my gifts and what I know is my passion which I value as higher than any others, and that is telling others about Jesus. I have the ability and the gift to cross cultural, language, and other boundaries to share the gospel with those who haven't heard. My heart also goes out to those who are in need: orphans, widows, others who are disabled or in poverty. So from this day forward, I commit myself to the study and use of my Spiritual gifts so I may edify the Body of Christ and serve God's Kingdom to the best of my ability.
that may not make sense to a lot of you, but that is my heart.