Falling in Love

I was looking at my last post and how it started out depressing but then came to be full of hope. And today, looking at myself, I am FULL of hope and joy. My mom and I have late been praying that God gives me joy. And My name is Joy. And my sister is Hope. Because my mom and God are joyful and hopeful that we will be vessels for Him. And God answers prayers. He has slowly given me joy in my circumstances, even though I'm worried about many things. And along with that joy are other fruits of the Spirit. An example is the peace that I have even though I'm worried because I know God will answer my questions at the right time. I can see the growth in myself! And that is so encouraging!
I was with my bible study girls on the mountain this weekend on a camping trip. And God was with us. He protected us as we drove this mini-van up VERY steep curves. V and I, (V is the driver) were a little more worried than everyone else, because we knew very well that if anything went wrong we could be careening backwards down the mountain! But everyone else was screaming and laughing out of pure adrenaline. And God kept us safe. He didn't let us get lost as we were hiking. He blessed us with a FANTASTIC camping spot, overlooking the valley. Yesterday morning, we woke up to one of the most beautiful sunrises I've ever seen. And the night before, as we separately watched the sun set, we were all talking to God and reading hHis word and listening to Him :). Beautiful.
He gave us some great memories :). And one I vividly remebmer was the wind was blowing fiercely as we were trying to start a fire to cook dinner, and nothing was working. Everytime Macy would light the fire, it would blow out soon. And then Bailey prayed, and Veronica prayed for God to use his power and start the fire. And IMMEDIATELY, literally the next match Macy lit, started the fire! It was like that's crazy! God really answered our petty prayer for a fire so we could cook dinner, and started the fire! THANK YOU JESUS! :)
I came from the mountain closer to God. Not with a spiritual high, but I was just closer to God. I felt God saying 3 things to me: 1) Trust me. 2) I am with you. 3) Love me. The 3rd one REALLY caught my ear as I said God I thought I do love you. And I heard him say "if you love me, you will obey my commands"; and "feed my sheep." God was telling me that I could show him I loved him through moment-by-moment obedience. And that means being obedient in my job, teaching children about him, and being obedient in all other aspects of this summer. So in response I said "ok God. It's time for me to show you I love you. It's time for you to become my first love. To forget about the boys who are on my mind and to focus on living for you." Because I'm not grown up enough to be ready for marriage ANY time soon. I dont' graduate from college for 2 years, and even then I don't know if I'll be ready for marriage. I'll need to be an adult first. So it will be awhile before I need to date because I don't want to date just to date. I know what that's like and I'm not interested. So that leaves me with the one thing I CAN concentrate on: My relationship with God. When I woke up this morning and said, "God, I miss the communion I had on the mountain with you," He responded "Joy dearest, I am everywhere. You didn't leave me on the mountain." And I sang Phil Wickham's song you're beautiful as I was getting ready for church, and I knew, that I was falling in love with God. So as I walked downstairs, I prayed, "Lord, Don't let me guard my heart with you. Let me fall head over heels in love with you. And let me respond in love with moment-by-moment obedience. Because I love you. I'm yours."
At church I sang the song The Potter's Hand for the special music. The chorus says "take me, mold me, use fill me, I give my life to the Potter's hand; call me guide me, lead me, walk beside me, I give my life to the Potter's hand." I want God to set me apart. Because I know He's drawing me to Himself. I want him to fill me and pour me out. And I want to let Him take care of me. I want to have wisdom about planning a preparation, but I want to not be worried about tomorrow and trust Him to take of me, protect me, and lead me in the way everlasting. What I need to do is follow and obey. And look at me now! I don't want to talk about anything else but what He's teaching me! I know that tonight, I will be tempted to talk dirty with some friend I met online. But God is with me and He will help me withstand that temptation. And if I can't withstand it while talkign ot them, I won't talk to them tonight. Because I belong to Jesus. :) Thank you Father, for the joy and peace that comes with the security in knowing you have the whole world in your hands, and that includes me and nothing can snatch me away from your hands. :)