It's not about me

This week and last week have been crazy. I've dealing with:
1: my future roommate, who just told me a week ago that's she attracted to girls as well as guys. She's not techinically bisexual becasue she doesn't do sexual relationships, but she's attracted to both. not me, but she allows herself to have crushes on girls. But I'm telling myself, give it to God; it's not about me.
2: my social club, Chi Rho Phi, which is experiencing a little bit of drama, as usual, while watching me grow into a person that cares more about them. they see that i'm less self-centered, but they're still a little guarded. so progress is being made. But I'm telling myself, give it to God; it's not about me.
3: my family, which is always on my mind, because they're so far away. i hate being an adult because im still having trouble keeping up with finances!!! but Phil, my younger brother by 16 months, is fine! he's going into the Naval Academy! he's disciplined and self-controlled and loves the Lord and not hindered by girls, gosh, he's my role model. and my sister is being chased by this guy and she's able to say no! But I'm telling myself, give them to God; it's not about me.
4: my school work, which is almost overwhelming me. i have projects in art, projects in instructional technology, paper in theatre, group play in theatre, test in life science, test in math, hw in math, and quizzes in western civ. i'm going to BURST! But I'm telling myself, give it to God; it's not about me.
5: my lifeguarding class. I get my certification on Sunday, IF I pass everything. Can I do it? But I'm telling myself, give it to God; it's not about me.
6: my summer. I'm jobless and homeless at the moment. 2 things are possiblities but I don't even know if they'll open up all the way. But I'm telling myself, give it to God; it's not about me.
So in conclusion. All these things, are God's now. The Bible says Seek ye First the kingdon of God and his righteousness. I'm seeking righteousness God, I'm trusting you to provide for me and take care of me. I'm not good at letting go. Help. No es facil seguirte, ya lo se. Y fuera de ti yo se que nada lo puedo hacer. Se muy bien que lo que tienes para mi es mejor de lo que pudiera tener. Por eso hoy te entrego todo lo que soy, y quiero que tu llenes todo mi interior. Quiero seguirte a ti; quiero morir a mi.

songs

I wanna be righteous in your eyes
I wanna be a fragrant sacrifice
I wanna bring joy to your heart
Set me apart
coyright Melanie Williams! no stealing allowed!

(that one is unfinished. I'm still working on it.)


Re-surrender
By Melanie Williams
April 5th, 2010
Inspired by Hosea chapter 2

Jesus, I’ve been unfaithful
I’ve chased after the wrong lovers
I forgot your love, forgot your grace
I forgot you provisions for me

Now I need help comin’ back to you
Let me feel your presence drawing me
Woo me into the desert
Speak tenderly to me
Make a door of hope for me
And I’ll re-surrender to you

Father I’ve been deceitful
Claimed I loved you but I ignored you
I neglected you and your will for my life
I stopped giving my time to you